If delicately-prepared, fine food is what you want from a restaurant, then in my experience, The Kube is probably not the place to go. And if a pleasant atmosphere with unobtrusive mood music and attentive hospitality is the sort of thing you crave, you might also be disappointed.
Entering the bright interior of the eatery in Leicester's Green Lane Road, the first thing we noticed was an empty dance floor to our right with blaring pop music and spinning, colourful disco lights.
To our left two men were playing snooker, giving the place the vague feel of a youth club.
links of london charms A pretty barmaid pointed us up a short flight of stairs to where the dining area sprawled out beyond the buffet area, where customers formed a long queue for the food.
Sitting at our table, adorned with a plastic cloth, plastic flowers and paper napkins, we ordered a pint of lager and a red wine.
"It's a bit like being at a wedding we weren't invited to," said my wife, Polly.
There were no instructions, so we followed the lead of the couple next to us, who waited until the queue died down a bit and then went and loaded their plates with all kinds of Asian cuisine and set about munching it all before going back for seconds.
Our expectations were pretty low by the time we got to the front of the queue for food. On a long table were metal containers with meats in various sauces, served at various temperatures from room temperature upwards.
There were some oily poppadoms, some dry, crisp naan bread, and a "mixed grill" of tandoori meats and battered fish. Some containers had labels written in marker pen.
No attempt had been made to separate the dishes into starters and mains, so it was a matter of piling your plates with a bit of everything, trying it all and then replica hublot watches getting the things you liked best on your second pass of the buffet.
Among the vegetarian options, such as chickpea and mushroom- based dishes, were breadcrumb-covered objects called "spaghetti rolls". Under a crunchy exterior lay something which tasted like tinned spaghetti in a cheesy sauce. They were the highlight of the meal, purely for the fascination factor. The low point was a couple of chunks of odd-tasting lamb rogan josh.
There were waiters, but they didn't seem to be doing an awful lot of waiting.
Meanwhile, a steady stream of kitchen staff brought food out from the kitchen in clear plastic tubs. For me, eating lost its interest about halfway through my second course. A heater above our heads was blasting us with hot air and, although the loud music was tolerable, the interruptions of DJs were harder to ignore.
As we watched our plates being taken away, we wondered whether The Kube could redeem itself by being ridiculously cheap.
The answer was no. The drinks only came to Pounds 5.65, but the food, which appeared on the bill as "2x Misc Dry", cost Pounds 10 each.
So even if you have a huge appetite you would struggle to get much better value than at any other Indian restaurant.
It's difficult to think of any positive points to make, although the Facebook group for the place has a couple of hundred members who'd probably disagree.
But even if some of the food had been delicious, my tongue would have been unable to appreciate it after the spicy assault of everything
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